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CHAPTER ONE |
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(Sorry about the lack of indents. >< When I pasted it they all went away) |
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The cold rush of early morning air
brushed across my face and crept in under my coat as I slammed the large
front door shut behind me with all my force. I hoped it shattered. It
should have, judging by the amount of times my mornings started off like
this. Somehow, though, this time was different. I wasn’t just
infuriated. I had something else on my mind. I had already decided I
wasn’t going to go to counseling or school (but when did I ever go to
school?), and I had been brewing up a plan. I carried a backpack on my
shoulders, stuffed with clothes and my Ipod and a few snacks. I hardly
ever got hungry anymore. I walked down our long driveway and continued
on towards the bus stop. The sky was pink from rising, and once again
the cold bit at my cheeks. I dipped my head down into my scarf to keep
warm. The bus ride seemed hours long. Going to the train station was my mission, even if I wasn’t sure where the hell I was going to go from there. I wondered if Ron would even notice if I wasn’t ever to return. I could just see him wandering into my room tonight ready to take me, only to discover I’m not there when he switches on the lights. He would probably just shrug it off and then light up a smoke. The bus finally stopped and its few passengers descended, some thanking the driver. I put my hood back up to protect myself from the outdoor chills. I walked down to the train station and folded my arms to get the warmth circulating. Some old lady was sitting on the only bench at the station, and her trolley and grocery bags around her took up all the space to sit. I glanced over at her and she frowned at me. Must have been the damn bruise on my cheek. Fucking old hag. As if John asking about it two days ago wasn’t bad enough, now I had to have this pruning lady scowling at me. A few minutes had passed when I felt the ground vibrating beneath me as the bells began to ring, signifying the train’s arrival. As if right on cue, some church bells went off in the background too. It must have been just turning eight o’clock. The train’s loud demeanor gradually grew louder and louder, and soon enough it swept right by me, its horn blowing and rails roaring as they clanged against the wheels. I found a seat near the end of the car I got on and plopped my bag down on the seat in front of me to take up extra space. I didn’t want anything to do with anyone at that moment. I managed to get about forty-five minutes of sleep with the wheels rumbling and clanging beneath me before the train’s horn blew and woke me up. I realized I had gone quite far considering we were no longer near any buildings. The plains surrounding the train screamed freedom, and I could almost taste it on my tongue as we passed field after field. It could have just been my imagination, but I felt as though I was being watched. I turned to my right nonchalantly and sure enough, there was a middle-aged man in the seat across the isle staring at me. It felt awkward considering I had just been sleeping and was therefore unaware of how long he’d been watching me like this. I shifted uncomfortably, but he just kept staring. I couldn’t take it anymore. If he wanted to talk to me he should have just done so already. “What?” I finally spat. The man smiled slightly, but didn’t move his eyes away. Instead he casually stood and walked over to my booth, sitting directly in front of me. He was tall and slender, and he kept his hands shoved in his jacket pockets. I just stared across the little booth at him, hoping my intense gaze would drive him away, or perhaps get a few words of explanation out of him. “My name is Edward Marvin, I’m the CEO of Stop It Now, a program that helps children overcome the pains of abuse mentally, physically, and sexually. I saw the bruise on your cheek and thought I’d come over here and talk to you.” “Who says it’s from abuse? I could have fallen down the stairs or something.” I replied bitterly. “Judging by the way you’ve packed your belongings with you, I’d say you were running away from home.” “No. I’m visiting my aunt,” I lied. “Where does she live?” “She prefers I don’t tell strangers her address,” I said, my facial expression giving nothing away. The man smiled. “Smart boy.” I hoped our conversation would end there, since I was feeling uneasy and the bruise on my cheek felt accentuated and hot. “Look, I really don’t need any of that help or whatever it is you’re offering. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get some more shut eye.” I closed my eyes and began shifting into a more comfortable position, urging him to leave. “What’s your name?” Edward asked. I blinked my eyes open. “Why do you want to know?” My tone was a tad harsher now. The man pushed his brown hair out of his face. “It’s my job to know.” “I said I didn’t need any help. Take a hint.” “Just tell me your name and I’ll leave you alone.” I knew what he was getting at. If I told him my name he’d probably look me up and then find a way into my life with his stupid “Stop It Now” program. “Thomas.” I lied. The man looked content and satisfied. He relaxed in his seat. “Do you have a last name, Thomas?” “No, I was thrown into a river as a child and raised by baboons.” The man laughed, but I didn’t mean to be funny. I wanted him to see how dense he was being for treating me like such a naïve child. “It’s Williams.” “Alright, thank you, Thomas. I’ll let you get some sleep now.” I wasn’t going to let him off that easily. I never told anyone anything without them telling me something about their lives as well. “Where are you headed then?” “I’m on a business trip over in Jersey.” “Good to know the CEO of a large business can’t even afford a car of his own.” The man smiled yet again and gazed out the window to somewhere far off. “I prefer taking the train over driving. I find it a lot more relaxing.” He did seem calm, for he was sitting back in his seat and his muscles were relaxed. The rumble of the train contributed to my exhaustion, so I shut my eyes and leaned my head against the window. The glass was cold, but I didn’t care. The relaxing felt so good. Pretty soon I drifted into a mesmerizing sleep, unaware of all my senses. I was soon awakened by an extreme jolt that violently tugged me out of my seat and across the booth. I hit my head hard on the seat in front of me but then fell back and on the ground in between the seats, where my feet had previously been. Edward Marvin, who was sitting on the side of the booth that I hit my head on, flung forward. He stopped his fall with his hand, which pressed into the seat in front of him. My head hurt from smashing it so hard against the seat. Everything was silent, but then moments later there was a good deal of commotion, and a few people rushed past the car hallway. They were probably going to see what had happened. “Did you hit your head?” Edward asked. It throbbed so hard that I was holding my hand to it. He had probably noticed. “Yes... Fucking seat.” Talking made it worse. He looked sympathetic. “I’m going to go see what happened. Stay here.” “No, I want to come.” “Stay here,” he repeated, sterner this time. I managed to gather my strength and stand anyway, following Edward to the head of the car. There was a crowd near the exit, all trying to get off. Suddenly a voice arose over the crowd. It was the conductor booming through muffled speakers. “I’d like everyone to remain calm. We have encountered a slight problem with the engine. It seems as though it suddenly gave out while we were passing through Braxton. Now if everyone would please make your way to the exits. We will discuss this further outside. Thank you.” I made my way to the exit and waited while everyone got off. After I stepped off the car I spotted Edward but didn’t walk over to him. I instead stood where I was and folded my arms. It was still chilly out. Passengers were getting off their cars a long way down to my left all the way to the caboose. The engineer and the conductor spoke through a speaker horn. “All passengers please report to the front of the train.” The speaker repeated over and over. The crowd moved as one toward the lead locomotive. Edward met up with me half way. “Looks like the engine gave out,” he said. “It also looks like we’re in the middle of nowhere.” Other than the rocky grass plain that the tracks were on, all that was surrounding us was a bunch of trees far out on either side of the tracks. “We’re in Braxton,” Edward said. “I know. How are they going to fix the engine?” “The engineers will probably be right on it. I think that is what this discussion is going to be about.” We had almost reached the crowd in front of the locomotive when the conductor began speaking. “Our engineers are working on repairing the engine as we speak. Please understand the timeframe this requires. It could take seven to ten hours. We apologize for the inconvenience this has caused anyone, but we reassure you that it will be up and running within said time. In the meantime we advise you to take some snacks and drink we have up here at the front, and wait patiently in your respectful cars. We will be playing a movie in car number four for those who wish to watch. Any further questions; please see Bob Redner, one of our engineers up front. Thank you.” “Oh, god. This is great,” I announced with sarcasm. Only a few people heard me, including Edward. “Seven to ten hours...” Edward repeated. He kicked at the ground, thoughtful. “You know, I have an old friend who lives in Braxton, if I recall correctly. Let me give him a call.” “Wonderful.” I rolled my eyes. Edward whipped out a cell and dialed. He walked away from me, showing me only his back. I shifted and looked to the sky. It was probably almost noon. I saw a few mothers and children heading to the fourth car for the movie. Others headed back to their original cars, complaining about the wait and their engagements they would now be late for. I saw a few others on cells, probably calling a cab or their family and friends. I looked back at Edward, who was now talking with his friend, apparently. He turned his head and eyed me, then turned it back to face the trees. I sighed, annoyed that I couldn’t hear what he was talking about. After a few minutes he hung up the phone. He looked a little underdressed to be going on a business trip, I just noticed. He walked up to me in his jeans and suede jacket, and flipped his phone shut. “My good friend Ben said it would be his pleasure if we went over for a visit. Said he’ll come pick us up right now,” he said. “What do you mean, we?” I asked. “Well, I thought you might want to join me. He could probably take you on over to your aunt’s. Won’t she be a little disappointed when she finds out you won’t be there to eat dinner with her once seven o’clock rolls around?” I laughed sarcastically. “No thanks. I think she’d prefer I didn’t go roaming off into the wilderness with some older man claiming to own a business for child abuse.” Edward stepped closer to me and leaned in, whispering loudly. Our faces were a mere few inches apart. “Listen, I’ve worked all my life for ‘Stop It Now’. It’s something I have poured my heart and soul into. If you don’t respect that then that’s fine with me, but don’t try and take away my pride with your immaturity.” My heart pounded. Edward was rather intimidating. Something about his harsh tones made it hard to believe he actually wanted to help children. He finally moved away from me and looked around to see if anyone noticed our little chat. “So if you want to stay here for another ten hours, be my guest. Ben’s house is only a few miles away, and he said he would be treating us to lunch. I guess I’ll just have to tell him you won’t be coming.” “Yeah, you do that,” I said. This guy was wacked. There was no way I was leaving here with him. I could almost see his veins pulsing within his temples. He shifted, looking everywhere but at me. By now the crowd had diminished and most of the passengers were in a car except us and a few others toward the caboose. I began to walk backward toward the car’s entrance. “Okay, well... nice meeting you…” I said with heavy sarcasm, although I hoped he wouldn’t notice. “I’m just going to head back onto the car now...” I turned and was about to step up on the car, but I felt a hard tug on my wrist and I flew around to face Edward again, only all I saw was an enormous fist coming directly toward my face. • • • “Let me do it!” “Let go!” “Just pull ‘em down you fool.” “Is that bruise from you?” A man laughed. “No, but the bloody nose is.” Another man laughed. “Look at this...” “Don’t touch him, he’s mine.” I awoke to find myself on a hard car seat, my heart beginning to race. Someone was breathing loud in my ear and I felt hands tugging at my belt. I started to regain full awareness of just what was happening and I opened my eyes fully to find Edward on top of me, struggling with my belt buckle. “What the fuck are you doing?” I yelled. “Oh, he’s up!” Edward said with a menacing hiss. “Get the fuck off me you bastard!” I shouted again, struggling to get free, but we were enclosed and probably locked in this small vehicle, and his weight was too heavy to try and move. I saw who I figured was Edward’s friend Ben in the front seat, just smiling and licking his lips with steady intimidation. They had already taken off my shirt, and now my back stuck to the leather car seat from damp sweat. I managed to get my right arm free and reached into my back pocket, but only panicked more when I found it was completely empty. “Looking for this?” Ben asked from the front seat, holding up my pocketknife. I struggled some more, trying to kick free, but I couldn’t. I felt the blood trickling down my nose. “You lied. You lied about the whole thing you fucking —” I tried to say to Edward but I was silenced with a stinging slap across my cheek. “Shut up. Don’t make me break it this time.” Edward said. I took it he was talking about my nose. Either this guy was a really unstable son of a bitch doing things to the children he supposedly “helped” in secret, or he was just making the whole ‘Stop It Now’ program up. Wait… Either way he was still an unstable son of a bitch. “Just get off me you sick bastard!” I shouted, my heart racing. “Are you actually so low you have to fuck a fifteen year old boy to get your pleasure? What’s the matter; can’t get it up to the chicks in the whore house?” My knee managed to get semi-free so I kneed him in the place I knew it would hurt most, very quickly. Edward buckled over, allowing me to pull my waist out from under him. “Where do you think you’re going?” Ben asked, whipping out my pocketknife again, this time holding it to my neck. I halted, breathing heavily. Edward was still sitting on my thighs, so I couldn’t exactly move. He pressed the knife a tad harder into my neck so it drew a little of my blood. I drew short breaths, trying to fight the pain. Edward caught his breath, grabbed the knife from Ben and tossed it aside. “Calm down, Ben.” Edward slammed me back down and struggled some more with my belt, but finally managed to get it off. He lifted my waist to pull down my pants, leaning over me, his face almost touching mine. The fucking bastard wasn’t about to get away with this. He was about to take off my briefs when I spat in his face. “Ugh!” Edward winced and wiped the saliva from his eye, but that was soon followed by that same huge fist retreating and then swinging full force at my face. Everything went black and cold. I awoke on my side, cramped and curled up on the same hard car seat. Over my lip was a crusted layer of dried blood that had previously streamed out of my nose. I sat up slowly, looking around. There was no one in the front seats. It seemed as though I was all alone. It was now pitch black outside, and I could barely see. It was cold and my shirt was still off. Luckily enough my pants were back on. The zipper was down, but at least they were on. I searched around for my shirt and coat, finally finding them on one of the front seats. I slipped them on and wiped my bloody nose on my jacket sleeve. I looked around cautiously outside through the car windows, and saw a large house directly ahead. There were lights on inside. I slowly pushed open the car door. My body ached all over. My neck felt swollen from the pocketknife scratch, and my head throbbed. Every move I made sent surges of pain throughout my entire body. I was so weak but I knew I had to get out of there. I shut the car door quietly and walked away from the house. I felt woozy, and I didn’t really know where I was going. Ben’s house looked as though it was the only one for miles. I walked down the road, sheltered by trees on both sides. I walked and walked.... and walked... for what felt like an eternity. It felt like I was walking in a circle. Every tree looked exactly the same and they went on for miles. I had no sense of direction, no idea where I was, no food. I realized that I left my bag on the train, which had in it most of my most precious belongings. All I had was the clothes on my back, and if it weren’t for my jacket’s hood, my ears probably would have frozen off by now. It wasn’t too cold, but just enough wind to make your eyes water. My knees suddenly bucked and I fell to the ground on the side of the road, unable to go any further. I blacked out once again, but this time it felt different. It felt good and relaxing, and all the cold air had blown away, leaving me heavy with warmth and light. • • • “Hey, buddy?” A man’s voice boomed in my ears. I regained my consciousness to find a chubby man with black hair, a beard and glasses gazing down at me quizzically. It was still night and I was still on the side of the road, the lights from his truck so bright they were almost blinding me. “Need a hand, kid?” The man offered. The warmth and light had faded and now I was freezing cold again, my feet and hands stinging. I moved my head up from where it was resting on my arms and drearily looked up at him. The man leaned down and extended his hand for me to grasp. “No, I’m...” I tried to stand but collapsed again. The man quickly ran behind me and held me up from under the shoulders. “Your nose looks bloody. What happened to you?” He asked. “I just...” I couldn’t even finish my sentence. Speaking hurt way too much. The man helped me walk — or limp — over to his truck where he opened the door for me and helped me up. “Watch your feet,” the man said as he shut the door beside me. He got in the driver’s seat after a moment and then asked me a question, but I couldn’t really hear. I don’t know if it was because I just chose not to listen, or if it was because the cold had messed up my hearing. I couldn’t even move my body. I turned my head slightly, looking at the man. He was quite goofy-looking. He probably thought I was weird too, because I was most likely expressionless and filthy with blood and dirt. “Did you hear me?” The man said. Oh, thank god. I could hear again. “I said: would you like me to take you somewhere?” The man asked for a second time. I nodded my head. “Alright, where?” The man looked genuine and friendly. I was actually surprised he picked me up in the middle of nowhere. Especially in the condition that I was in, with my bloody nose and bruised up face. I still couldn’t tell if I was dreaming or not. Maybe I was dead? I didn’t know where we were, I didn’t know where to go, but I did know that wherever we were, it was most likely a very long way from where I lived. I couldn’t really think of anything on the spot, but there was one address that kept repeating itself over and over in my mind, and it wasn’t my own. “60657 Scottsdale Avenue,” I said. “Please.” “Scottsdale... That’s in... Gee, that’s all the way in Chicago. It’ll take about six hours to get on over there. By the time we reach Scottsdale it’ll be around four in the morning. Are you sure you want to go?” The wooziness came over me again and I felt as though I was going to pass out. It was probably from all the loss of blood. “Please...” I managed to let out, and then my eyes shut by themselves, allowing me to fall into yet another deep sleep. “Buddy...” I heard the man saying. I was being gently shaken too. “Buddy, we’re finally here. It’s 4:16 in the AM. I hope whoever’s inside left the door unlocked.” The man chuckled. I blinked sleepily and looked around, disoriented. My nose still ached, and I wondered if it was broken. “Oh, here,” the man handed me a wet tissue from a package he had in the back seat. “I meant to give some of these to you earlier but you knocked out cold.” I used it to wipe my nose. It smelled like rubbing alcohol mixed with lemon. “Thanks...” I gathered myself together, then realized this man, whoever he was, had just been driving for six hours straight just to bring me here. “Umm... I’m sorry, I don’t have... money or whatever,” I try to sound as sympathetic as possible, but my voice was drained and probably sounded cold to him. “Aw, that’s alright little buddy,” The man smiled. “My ex in-laws live near here. I might as well drop ‘em a visit.” “I really appreciate what you did for me,” I said, and I really did mean it, although it probably didn’t seem that way to him because of my lack of enthusiasm. “Not a problem. You take care now,” the man said. I got out of the car and shut the door behind me. I breathed the cold air in deeply and walked toward John Gillis’ door. It was still pitch black outside, though if I looked far off in the distance I could see the pink horizon starting to rise. John’s house was a huge dark shadow and looked rather intimidating at this hour. As I approached the wooden door I heard the man’s car drive away behind me. I felt like turning back. What would I say to John? Though, I knew I couldn’t exactly stay out here in the freezing cold. I felt woozy yet again and thought I might fall over, but I kept on walking up to the door. I didn’t care anymore, I just needed to get inside. I knocked on the door. There was no answer. I knocked again. Still no answer. I knocked for a third time. I didn’t want to ring the bell, because that might have woken up his wife too. Everything was so silent around me. There were no birds chirping, no car engines roaring. The sound of my knocks seemed loud enough to wake up the entire neighborhood. There was still no answer, and it was driving me crazy. I banged my head continuously on the door. Maybe he wasn’t even home? Could he be away on a business trip? No, that wasn’t possible. I had just seen him two days earlier. Suddenly I heard the sound of rummaging inside the house. I perked up and then knocked again, letting him know I was still there. The doorknob turned and the door creaked open, John’s tired face appearing in the doorway. His disgruntled expression suddenly changed when he saw me, his eyes growing wide and concerned. “Shuro,” he said. “What are you doing here?” I honestly did not know how to answer that. I didn’t even know why I was there myself. “I... John, I’m sorry...” He pulled me inside quickly and the screen door shut behind me. It was so dark I could barely make out John’s face when I looked up, but I could feel him there, and that was all I needed. “Shuro, what happened to you?” He asked, his voice warm with concern. “I... I should have never got on that fucking train...” My words seemed to shake and I couldn’t hold the lump in my throat down anymore. “I didn’t even know where I was going... He... That bastard...” John pulled me into a tight embrace, my head resting on his chest. His warm hands weaved through my hair and I just let all my feelings out. I had never really taken into account how much of an idiot Edward was. I had thought nothing of it because it’s just what I was used to. I guess I just thought it was normal. Being enfolded in John’s arms made me realize that what Edward did wasn’t normal at all. John was normal. “He took me to his friend’s car, and the bastard had the nerve to punch me in the nose twice,” my voice was muffled by John’s t-shirt and he probably didn’t even understand what I said, but I didn’t really care. “What? Who did this to you?” John asked, frantic. So he had understood me. “Edward. Edward Marvin. He claimed to be a CEO for a program against child abuse, but I highly doubt that.” “Where did all of this happen? Where did you go?” John asked, breaking our embrace and shutting the main door behind me. “Come on, sit down.” He led me to his large black leather sofa and sat me down. I felt so dirty compared to his whole house. It was all so clean and modern. “Now, explain to me exactly what happened.” John asked, sitting on the seat beside me. I took a long time explaining everything, but John listened. He listened intently through it all and asked questions. He told me he would look into it first thing in the morning and make sure Edward and his friend got exactly what they deserved. He even offered to take me to the hospital, but I said I’d rather stay there. After I was done telling him everything that happened, he said: “Hold on, Shuro. I’ll be back in two seconds.” “Okay.” I felt so exhausted and dragged down. All the talking actually made my nose begin to bleed again, and I grabbed the nearest tissue to try and stop it. After a while John came back, holding a few blankets and a pillow. “Here, you can change into these,” he handed me some plaid pajamas. “They’re my wives’. They might be a little big, though. Sorry about that. You can sleep on the couch. The guest room is a mess; it’s kind of our storage room since we never have company.” “It’s fine,” I took the pajama set and changed while John threw a few blankets on the couch. It looked more than welcoming. I grabbed at another tissue. “Is your nose still bleeding?” John asked. He went into the kitchen and brought back a white towel-like cloth. “Here, use this.” We sat down at the same time on the couch where he had laid the blankets down. I took the cloth from him and held it to my nose. The room was silent for a while, my eyelids heavy. “Edward Marvin...” John said, as if repeating it so that he could remember in the morning. I closed my eyes, trying to forget everything that happened that day. “Shuro,” John began. “I know you’ve been through a lot. I want you to try and forget all about it, okay? Just block it out. I want you to know that I’m going to get this solved. This can’t go unnoticed. They will be found. You trust me to do that, don’t you?” I nodded. Of course I trusted John. He was probably the only person on this planet I actually did trust. John leaned forward and wrapped his arms around me, offering me warmth and comfort. I closed my eyes and clutched his back. And I knew, right then, that someone in this world cared about me. Knowing that, somehow made everything else disappear. |
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