CHAPTER SIXTEEN

It was morning again. This time there was only a nurse in the room, checking things on my body like my pulse rate and my wounds. She gave me another needle in my forearm and told me I would be able to leave today. I wasn’t aware of how long I had been there, I had lost count.
After the nurse was done sorting things she gave me breakfast which wasn’t too bad. It was a neatly-prepared dish of eggs and bacon and sausage and fruit. I had a plastic bottle of juice to drink. She left the room and John came wandering in, followed by Emera and Rafael too. One half of the bed was elevated so I was sitting upright but still leaning against it.
Rafael greeted me with a grin and a handshake. I smiled back while chewing my breakfast and thanked him for coming to find me.
Okay, this is going to sound odd coming from me, but I felt genuinely happy. It had been so long since I felt this emotion and I had almost forgotten it completely, but it was amazing. I never wanted it to leave.
We all chatted in the room about my leaving the hospital finally, a few jokes were cracked, and John even snatched a piece of my bacon. It was all rather heartwarming, and for the first time in roughly seven years I felt wanted, and part of something similar to a family.

• • •

At around 2:30PM I gathered myself and my belongings, like Mr. Bear and my pills. The doctor was in the room giving me a few last-minute instructions like to take it easy and not play any sports or do anything too active within a month’s time. He said fresh air and short walks around the block would be good for me.
John had bought me clothes which I now wore; a grey cotton t-shirt with an ironic phrase on the front: “I’m not shy, I’m just quietly examining my prey,” which I thought was totally appropriate for me. On my legs was a snug pair of skinny faded black jeans; just the perfect size. He told me Emera found the jeans and he spotted the t-shirt. There was also a sweatshirt to pull over my arms but I just carried that.
“You okay to carry all that stuff, Shuro?” John asked, grabbing the bag that held my pills out of my hand.
“I’m fine.”
John thanked the doctor and we were about to leave the small hospital room that was my home for the past few days when something caught John’s attention.
There was a little television set that was planted high up on the wall across from the bed.
“…Reported that fifty DVDs and twenty video games were stolen at the Cermak warehouse on E 24th street, Chicago. Robbery was said to have taken place just eight days prior to today, but police are still searching for suspects.”
The screen changed and my stomach leapt as the T.V. showed the warehouse I had just been to with Malcolm. The familiar building was circled with cops, detectives, reporters, and yellow tape. There was a date at the bottom of the screen letting the viewers know when the clip was from. It was from seven days ago. The day after Malcolm and I were in there, stealing the goods.
The screen switched over to a woman in the comfort of a broadcast studio. She addressed the man who was discussing the details of the robbery. “Thanks, Sam. Keep us updated on that. Coming up next; the reason why middle aged women find so little time to themselves!”

John seemed abnormally interested. He rested a palm on his face while the other arm was folded in. He did that when he was awed by certain news. I was practically trying to run out the door and drag him along with me.
“I haven’t heard about that yet,” John muttered.
“Oh, yeah. Apparently the suspects are a bunch of teenage kids. Nothing’s confirmed yet.” The doctor was almost in the same position as John; a contemplative stance.
I was only getting increasingly uncomfortable. “John, can we go?”
“Yeah, sure, Shuro. You know me and the news.” John shrugged it off and we left the hospital at last. The frogs jumping around in my stomach, however, were still there having a party.

Rafael and Emera were waiting for us in Emera’s red Honda Civic. John and I climbed in. John started to help me because of my injuries but I didn’t need the aid. I was fine, and I had almost forgotten all about the bullet that was once inside me, except when I bent a little too forward.
“Oh, by the way, Shuro, I spoke to your principle at St. Benedict’s,” John stated once we were in the car and on our way to his and Emera’s place.
I just gazed out the window at the passing buildings and cars.
“I explained to him everything that happened to you. I managed to convince him to reduce your suspension to one week, which covered the time you were in the hospital. You’re free to go back to school at any time now.”
“Oh, how thrilling,” I said, resting my arm on the car door’s ledge.

• • •

The next few days were all alike. I returned to St. Benedict’s the day after I came home from the hospital, and there I was given a hundred snooty noses turned up and a thousand whispers and glares as I walked by. I gathered the whole school now knew what I had done to Alex Miller, and there was no point in trying to deny it. I wouldn’t even want to.
As I approached my locker I wondered if all of St. Benedict’s also knew about my being in the hospital for the past few days. My thoughts were answered when I was roughly slapped on the back and nearly toppled over.
“Morrison! You’re back! Good to see ya, man.” It was Freddie Hall, a tall brunette in the same level as me. He was the only person who spoke to me often enough to know that I just didn’t enjoy conversing. He always called me peculiar, no matter what I did. He was possibly the only thing close to a friend I had at St. Benedict’s, if I could even call him that. When I say “friend” I mean the only person who wasn’t offended by the rude things I said or who turned their noses up at the very sight of me. He was an accepting and genuinely friendly kid who, like me, wasn’t a stuck up spoiled brat that got everything he wanted from his loving parents.
“Oh, hey Freddie,” I said, retrieving a few history books from my locker.
“I heard about your accident, man. I feel terrible. Are you alright?”
“I’m fine.”
“I also heard about what you did to Miller.” He leaned in close as if afraid someone might be listening. “Couldn’t have done it better myself. If you ask me, that kid deserves worse.”
I smirked, shutting my locker with my knee and closing the lock. “Too bad it wasn’t math class.”
Freddie seemed confused.
“Compass.” I smirked and we walked down the long corridor with the mile-high ceiling that so resembled a cathedral. Other boys gave me dirty looks and I just reciprocated them right back.

The same thing went on for the next two days. I was staying with John and Emera, which was nice. Ron’s manor was being cleaned thoroughly by experts to remove all the blood stains and other messes. I was told I would be able to live there on my own when I turn eighteen, which sounded far away. What would I do in the meantime? I surely couldn’t stay with John for the next three years. He wouldn’t want me around that long. I preferred not to think about the future.
Still there was this immense weight on my shoulders that I couldn’t shake off. Every time I watched the news on T.V. I remembered the police were out there still, in search of me, a wanted thief. I found it hard to sleep at night because of that small little teeny tiny fact.

It was late afternoon now and the last bell of the day had rung about ten minutes ago. I made my way over to John’s office like usual. I noticed something was off when I greeted him and he didn’t seem to notice. He appeared to be in some sort of odd daze, staring ahead of him, his chin resting glumly on his palm. His face was colorless and tired.
“John, is something wrong?” I approached him and set my bag down in front of his desk.
“You better take a seat, Shuro.”
I did as he told me and cautiously sat in the leather seat in front of his desk. “What is it?”
John sighed. “I’m afraid there’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to have to cut to the chase.”
The way he said that made me uneasy and I shifted in the chair.
“Shuro, I can’t represent you. Authorities have taken a deeper look into the case and it appears they’ve discovered that you’re staying with me and that we’ve become a little more than business associates.” He paused, drawing a breath.
“What? No…”
“I can’t be your lawyer anymore. I’m sorry. I did everything I could.”
I felt as though I had just been shot for a second time. My throat caved in and my voice only came out in short, shaky spurts. “But that’s not…fair. They can’t do that.”
“I’m afraid they can,” John said. He seemed sympathetic. “It seems there are just a few things that are out of our control.”
“No!” I stood now, anger taking control of me like it always did. Except this time it wasn’t just anger. It was fury. Raging, fiery fury. “We’ve come all this way! So what, it was all for nothing? Are you honestly telling me this now? Now that we’ve come so close?”
“Ron’s already in jail, there’s really nothing—”
“I don’t care about that! There will still be a trial and just knowing that you won’t be the one there… it…” I couldn’t finish my sentence.
“Shuro, I know you’re upset. You have every right to be. But maybe this is for the best?” John paused, shaking his head as if trying to forget everything. “I have arranged a new lawyer for you. His name is William Sutherford. He’s arriving any minute now to meet you.
“What? This is ridiculous! I don’t want to meet him!” I was starting to sound like a bratty child but I didn’t care. This was all so horrible and it was happening way too fast. I felt as though I was trapped in some sort of unending nightmare.
Not a moment too soon the door to John’s office opened and in came a tall, dark-haired man with a navy blue suit and black tie. He had the scruff of a G.I. Joe toy and the dark eyes of a panther.
“I can’t say I’m all that pleased to meet you either, Mr. Morrison,” the man said with a sly smirk as he approached me.
I wasn’t surprised he had heard my loud outburst of rage. I was pretty sure students leaving St. Benedict’s for the day must have heard it as well.
I gave the man the worst glare I think I was capable of.
John stood and tried to ease the tension in the room by breaking the silence. “Shuro, meet William Sutherford. He’s really one of the best in Chicago.”
William Sutherford gave a dignified smile.
“I don’t care what he is,” I said, stepping a few steps backward to retrieve my bag from the side of John’s desk. “You don’t care about me, you don’t even care that I hate you. Whoever you are, I don’t give a shit. I don’t need you — or anyone else for that matter — helping me in this. So thanks but no thanks.” I shoved past him and escaped through the door to the outside office, then down a corridor to the end and out the last set of doors to the outside cold air.

I took a bus to a little café John and I always drove past while on our way to work and school. John came in here for his morning coffee a few times.
It was a warm place, with everything evenly spread out across light tile flooring, and there were comfortable sofas and armchairs in the center. I sat at a single table with two chairs that was right up against the window.
A fair-haired young-looking girl came up to me and gave me a menu with a list of coffee and sandwiches on it.
It wasn’t long before I found myself gazing out the window beside me at all the passing cars and pedestrians. I tried to put myself in their shoes, wondering what it would be like to be an ordinary person, living an ordinary life, having an ordinary job. Every time I thought I was beginning to forget my own, my thoughts would trail back and I would remember that I was just me, going through my own stupid life with a ton of my own stupid problems.
Any other thoughts I was having at that moment were wrenched away when I saw John enter the café, searching around the place for something. My shoulders sank as I saw him. How had he known I was here? I had come here to get away and to dodge another painful conversation with John that might make me feel even angrier about the whole situation, and here he was, coming toward me now with a flush of relief.
“How’d you find me?” I asked before he sat down in the seat in front of me.
“I followed you once you barged out of the room in an angry rampage,” John said as he took off his coat and scooted the chair inward toward the table.
“That makes two times now that you’ve followed me. Why don’t you take a hint?” I was still angry and didn’t really know what I was saying.
Luckily John ignored my outburst of attitude, like he was used to it all by now, and ordered a coffee when the young girl came around again.
When she left with a smile, John said “She looks about your age. Why don’t you… you know, say something to her?”
He must have been joking. Either that or he had completely lost it. I looked at him like he had. “First of all she doesn’t look my age, she looks older. And secondly I’m not interested in someone like that. I never will be. Kids nowadays are so predictable. You start to think for a second that maybe they’ll be different from the rest, but the first word out of their mouth tells you that they’re just the same as every other stupid teen on this planet.”
“You don’t even know her! And let’s not forget you fall under the category of ‘teen’ and ‘kid’. You know that, right?”
“Yeah. Except I’m not like everybody else. That’s the point I’m trying to prove.”
“So why the sudden hatred toward people your age?”
“It’s not sudden. Trust me.”
John sighed.
The girl came back with his coffee. Then John did something completely irrational.
“My friend thinks you’re cute,” he said with a gesture toward me.
My eyes grew wide and I felt my cheeks get hot. I tried not to look at her, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. After a few seconds, I regained my awareness and kicked John’s shin from under the table.
The girl seemed flustered. “I think he’s cute, too,” she said with a giggle and then hurried away.

We stayed at the café for a good hour just talking. It was only when John said something that triggered my memories that the conversation began to get bumpy.
“I mean, why would something like that bother you so much that you had to leave the room the way you did? I’m trying to figure it out, Shuro, I really am. I can usually understand you entirely but things are a bit hazy now.”
And there it was. A lump in my throat again. It was as if all the words were crammed down there just aching to come out. I had to let them out. One way or another John would find out, and if he had to know I would want it no other way than for me to tell him.
“John, there’s something you should know,” I sighed, bracing myself for the worst.
“Go on.”
“You know the Cermak warehouse robbery?” My voice was shaky now, but it was trying hard to be strong.
“The one the police are still investigating? Yes…”
I tried to say something, but I couldn’t. The words wouldn’t come out now. Why? Weren’t they just dying to erupt a moment earlier? Instead I was frozen in the seat. My mouth was open but still nothing came. I watched John as his expression changed from concerned to a stern look of doubt. He shook his head incredulously.
“Shuro, please tell me that wasn’t you…”
I shook my head too, completely ashamed of what I had done. I banged my head continuously on the table now.
“Shuro… What? Why?! Why on earth would you do something like that? You know better than that! What was going through your head?” John seemed infuriated, though he tried to keep his voice down. A few people sitting on sofas looked up from their books or newspapers.
“I don’t know, alright?” I looked up at him now, my voice trembling. “You were gone… Nothing seemed to matter.”
John seemed to comprehend something, even if it only was very deep down inside him. “But I was coming back! You knew that!”
I took my hands and buried my face in them.
John sat back in his chair just completely in shock, as if he was now considering everything that was going to happen, all the terrible possibilities.
“You know where this can lead you?” He said finally.
“I know, I know.”
“You’re going to go straight into Juvenile Hall for this! Who was with you? You couldn’t have been alone…”
“I wasn’t. It was the kid that works for Rafael. Malcolm Torres.”
“Malcolm?”
“I know, right? What’s Rafael doing hiring criminals, huh?”
John glared at me and my shoulders sank back down again.
“I hope you’re going to come forth with this,” John said. He hadn’t taken a sip of his coffee since I confronted him about the news.
I nodded. If there was one thing I was not it was a coward. I wouldn’t run from authorities like most people do after they’ve committed crimes. This was one I really didn’t want to commit. And technically, I didn’t. But I was still accompanying Malcolm and it was just the same as if I had shoved those DVDs into my bag myself.
“You have to,” John only enforced my decision.
“I’m going to!”
“They’re going to track you down eventually.” It was as if he didn’t believe me or something.
“John! I said I’m going to! I’m going to turn myself in.”
He didn’t speak for a very long time. As a matter of fact, he didn’t move either. He was staring at something on the table that I didn’t seem to notice. But there was nothing on the table. His coffee cup? No. His gaze was too intense. It was something else, something far beyond what I could see. He was looking into his own mind.
“That’s a very wise decision.”
“John?”
Still he didn’t look up.
“What’s wrong?” I said quietly. I almost didn’t want to break his concentration.
After a few moments of silence I was going to repeat the question, but he spoke up.
“I’m just wondering why… why you would throw your life away like that. You have no idea how serious this is, Shuro. It’s not some game. This is real life. It can’t be made over the way you want it to. You had so much going for you… I just feel like it was all for nothing now.” He looked like he was seriously hurting.
“John, I know it’s serious. I know I have to pay the consequences. What I forgot to mention was that Malcolm threatened me. I was either to rob the warehouse with him or die. I wanted to forget the whole thing but Kayan—”
“Wait a second. Who?”
“Kayan. The one who ordered Malcolm to steal the stuff in the first place. I think they’re cousins.”
“Go on…”
“Kayan said he would have my brains on a platter,” I continued. “But the thing is, I didn’t even steal anything! I left the scene, bailing on the whole robbery. Malcolm didn’t like that very much so he beat me in front of the warehouse and left with all the goods. I guess he brought them to Kayan.”
John’s face flushed with contained excitement. “You didn’t steal anything? Well that’s great! Your sentence won’t be nearly as long as Malcolm or Kayan’s. Hell, you may even be released within the year. That is, if everyone involved testifies in your favor.”
“Yeah but I was still there. Doesn’t that count for almost the exact same thing?”
“Everything depends on whether the jury believes you or not. If Malcolm lies and says you were right there stealing those DVDs by his side, it’ll be even tougher to convince them.”

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